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For many years, before I knew her name, she visited in spirit. She came by way of visions and dreams. She never took on a body, during this time. Her energetic presence was one to reckon with. There was no choice but to acknowledge she was present. Curiously, I acknowledged her and sought after her purpose in coming to me. To my surprise, this energy wanted to incarnate.
I wondered, “Out of all the people in the world, why she would want to manifest through me?” At the time, I was learning what a woman was not. Worldwide, societies defined ‘woman’ by gender roles. She cooked, cleaned, took care of children, and provided sex without receiving an orgasm, etc. To be unwed was like a curse. I was willing to die before I conformed to this definition of woman. Therefore, I believed I was incapable of raising a female child to fit into this society.
As time passed, things changed. Her visits became very intimate and I looked forward to the interaction. I had accepted the courageous woman I was; I became bold and fierce. There was still so much to learn about ‘woman’ but I was proud of what I had discovered thus far. I was unapologetic about my choices and I was not afraid to be a woman undefined by society. Most of all, I felt like I had something to offer society regarding womanhood.
River Meditation: Photo by Kelli Axley
She had not visited in a while. After an event that left me paralyzed from fear, I recalled those visits. I realized her visits were not a delusion. These visits were real like the Dogon tribe’s awareness of the star Sirius B. I finally accepted why she came to me. She came to help me discover the feminine energy within me. Following this realization, I wanted to be a mother again.
More time passed by and I found myself skin to skin, making hot passionate love, holding an image of this energy in my mind’s eye, with a man I love. I shared my vision of motherhood with him and he agreed to father our child. Two months later, conception had taken place, and 39 weeks and 6 days from conception, we birthed a beautiful baby girl. I was stupefied that what we had envisioned had manifested.
In the process, there are many processes. For me, the processes have always started before I was aware they had begun. By the time they ended, there was so much to learn.
-LaQuanda Simpson
LaQuanda is a vibrant spirit moving to the rhythms of life. She was born in Selma Alabama! She believes freedom was given to her as a birth right! LaQuanda has traveled around the sun 31 times! She has invested 10 years in growing one seed. His name is Kwami Malik Ingram! Her grandparents would say LaQuanda is a good gardener because she listens! Gardening relaxes her mind and purifies her soul, drumming and dancing too! LaQuanda is a recent graduate of Geography Information Science at the University of North Alabama in Florence Alabama! She is an explorer and she loves adventure! Among friends she is better known as Que!
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