.png)
I'm writing this last minute. The deadline is looming and I have been letting the prompt 'compromise' roll around in my head for a while. I wanted to be calm and positive with this offering. That was all before I opened my eyes this morning to find that another politician has offered a bill requesting that the Supreme Court of the United States strike down Obergefell v. Hodges. You would probably more commonly know that decision as legalizing same-sex unions or 'Gay marriage.' First, I broke into tears – they haven't stopped; I just have managed to blink them away. Now, I'm flat pissed!
I have no delusions that Alabama won't wholeheartedly jump onto this discriminatory bandwagon. You know some of my story if you are a loyal Garden Spice reader. I grew up questioning but kept it hidden, married and divorced, have a great son, and lived alone for 20+ years, and just last May, I came out and stepped into my own shoes as an unapologetic, proud gay man. I try to walk through the world, helping others where possible and harming no one. I don't expect any special privileges, nor will I tolerate any slights. So, now on to 'compromise Ready?
Compromise denotes a mutually agreed upon, respectful, and considered course of action between equals. What is happening in our beloved country currently is anything but compromise, and I am viewed as anything but an equal. Conservatives are bulldozing their way through the rights that have been hard-won by previous generations with no concern about who or what they are harming in the process of achieving their vision of a utopian United States. My vision of utopia looks something like everyone being allowed to live in peace, chase the dreams they are willing to fight for, love whomever they choose to share their life with, and generally be respected as a fellow human being having a journey on this planet.
Besides swearing an oath to protect our country and uphold the Constitution, it seems that our politicians might need to have added statements taken from the medical field – DO NO HARM. I am a grown adult, more gristle than sweet these days. Life has toughened me up. I fear what these decisions flying out of the White House, Congress, State Houses, and the Supreme Court are going to do to our LGBTQIA+ youth who have not yet survived enough of life to know that they can overcome. I feel that they are being put in danger by these inconsiderate decisions. So, if you ask me to compromise right now, my response would not be one fit to utter in mixed company, in the presence of ladies & children, nor publish publicly.
Compromise? Not on your life! The LGBTQIA+ community has fought hard to have its place at the political table. We have lost giants to violence and disease along the way – Harvey Milk, Marsha P.' Pay Them no Mind' Johnson, Keith Haring, Matthew Shepard…the list goes on. I want to think that our killing fields are over, but realistically, I doubt it. As long as members of my community and I can be 'othered,' we are considered disposable.
I predicted to my family and friends, following the decision to strike down Roe v. Wade, that the Marriage Equality Act would be next on the block. Knowing that the majority of my family voted for a party that seems hell-bent on limiting my life has been a bitter pill. When people show you how valuable you are in their eyes, believe them. My predictions were hardly a psychic flash since we of the LGBTQIA+ community are favored targets along with just about anybody else who doesn't fit the preferred mold of privileged straight, white, educated, conservative, and preferably Protestant. The hierarchy being churned out of Washington these days is sickeningly predictable.
America is a great dream that generations have imagined. We once were the beacon of freedom, hope, and help to the world. I fear our light is flickering a bit. It's time to stop the assault on our freedoms – NOW. Compromise? I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.
Buckle up, babies; this fight will be a bar brawl, and everyone better get ready to throw a punch!
Jonathan David Cain is a native of Florence, Alabama, and has been the current Curator for the Tennessee Valley Museum of Art in Tuscumbia, AL, since January 2020. He functioned in that role previously for several years before leaving to pursue a career in education. He holds an undergraduate degree in graphic design from the University of North Alabama and graduate degrees from the University of Mississippi (MFA – Sculpture) and the University of North Alabama (MA – Clinical Mental Health). He is an eclectic artist who likes to pursue many different media.
Comments