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Bikundo Onyari
“We live in a culture that discourages empathy. A culture that too often tells us our principal goal in life is to be rich, thin, young, famous, safe, and entertained. “~Barrack Obama
We are living in a world right now where the space of freedom is shrinking really fast. There were times you could share your opinion on any matter without thinking twice. Right now people have become afraid of genuinely speaking what they feel and what they see.
No one is more powerful than someone who speaks their mind and then does what they say. This is not an easy task because we always think that if we express ourselves genuinely then we won’t relate with others the way we expect. to However this is not true.
When it comes to speaking their minds, the vast majority of people in this world fall under either one of two categories: they either speak their minds without considering the feelings of others, or they do not speak their minds at all. To become outstanding, you must be different from these people.
You must know how to speak your mind without offending people at the same time. However, one thing that you have to accept is that you will sometimes ruffle the feathers of others, and the reason is because there will always be people who do not agree with you.
When it comes to speaking your mind, the last thing you want to be is a coward. A coward tries to avoid speaking his mind “in order to avoid conflict.” Trying to avoid conflict is worthless and meaningless, simply because it is a fact of life. If we really care about other people be they family, friends, colleagues or whomever we interact with, we need to be candid in what we say without fear of favor. That way we can promote healthy relationships with all the people who are in our cycle of interaction. No one likes people who are double minded; in one instance they want this and in another, they want something else. This is an opportunity to grow.
What Do You Stand For?
We live in a world full of non-altruistic humans who think first and foremost of themselves. What this means is that they will be quick to impose their ways of life on you, and many of them will try to control you. Your goal should be to make sure this does not happen.
The best way to accomplish this is by knowing how to speak your mind.
The first step in speaking your mind properly is to monitor your tone of voice. Even if someone is doing something that angers you, you will want to tell him or her this is in a calm manner. Your tone of voice communicates a lot, and if it conveys anger or similar emotions, it will hurt others or push them away. Your goal should be to maintain a calm demeanor and tone of voice at all times.
The second step in effectively speaking your mind is to pay attention to the words you use. It is always a bad idea to speak your mind without taking the time “to think before you speak.” Remember, once the words come out of your mouth, there is no way to put them back in. If you say something that hurts someone, you may try to repair the damage by apologizing, but depending on the circumstances, the damage may already be done.
One key thing that I have learned in expressing who we are, is to always seek to understand others. Sound simple? Not until we try this, can we see the other side and then see what resonates with us. So, the best way to speak your mind effectively is to think carefully about what you say. You can become a master of getting your point across to others without being rude in the process.
The ability to speak your mind properly is a critical skill that should never be taken for granted. In this world, there will be times when you will need to get your point across, and depending on the field you work in, this could be daily.
By thinking about the things you say before you say it, you will save yourself a lot of headaches, and you will often be able to maintain relationships, which would otherwise be lost. It is also important to make sure you avoid “not saying anything,” as this will only cause feelings to build up inside you.
– Bikundo Onyari
Bikundo is a self taught social entrepreneur, based in Nairobi, Kenya. He is a Bridge2Success mentor and coach for upward mobile young professionals who are ambitious, smart, go-getters and high achievers who are keen to create a dynamic and inspiring life. Bikundo feels purposeful working with people to realize and nurture their abilities. Apart from Kenya, he has worked in a variety of locations including Rwanda, Uganda, the Netherlands, Morocco and Mexico. You can reach him on Twitter @BikundoOnyari.
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