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True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self–acceptance." -Brene Brown.
How many times do we present our authentic and imperfect selves?
How often do we hide our authentic selves to fit in?
Are we searching for places to fit into or looking for places to belong?
Fitting in isn't the same as belonging. Fitting in fills a space, whereas belonging is a space of whole acceptance and inclusion.
I saw a social post where someone replaced a section of orange with a garlic clove. The garlic fits in the spot, but should we include it within the orange just because it fits? I don't want the pungent hit of raw garlic in my proposed sweet bite of orange. The caption said, "Just because it fits doesn't mean it belongs."
That made me think about how we struggle within society to fit into spaces and how those spaces are not always the most beneficial place for us. Would we want to belong in those spaces if we truly accept ourselves for who we are at a conscious level?
The LBTQIA community has experienced this struggle throughout history. They have struggled emotionally, physically, spiritually, and legally to be able to present as their authentic selves. Often, that creates a dangerous environment for them to live in and around; many move from their homes and schools merely because they wish to exist in life. They have been the target of harassment and violence, telling them how wrong they are for existing the way they feel or the structure of their DNA. They want to pursue the freedom and happiness that should be available to everyone.
Around the globe, societies have long been unaccepting of the LBGTQIA community. So much so that many places have laws with often fatal consequences if they show their authentic self.
Having to hide who you are for years or your entire life so that you can exist in public and private can take an emotional toll on a person's level of self-acceptance. And as Brene said in the above quote, self-acceptance is critical to a sense of belonging. When society as a whole or even a small-town experience constantly pushes the thought that you aren't allowed to be yourself because they don't understand who or how you can be so different from them, that ideology gets under your skin and starts to chip away at any level of self-awareness or acceptance you may currently have.
Self-acceptance seems to be at the forefront of thought currently. Many social media platforms have spaces for positivity and affirmations of self-acceptance. The sharp edges are changing, and acceptance and inclusion are making the rounds. Access to worldwide communities that offer understanding, compassion, and support has opened avenues of strength for people to stand up and authentically present themselves as who they are.
We see visible strength, courage, and compassion, which used to hide in the closet. For people to exist, it should not be such a complex concept to implement daily.
Why shouldn't an LBGTQIA couple not have the same freedom and rights to go out to dinner and hold hands without whispering gossip, without rude comments loud enough for earshot, and without threats to their very life? Why shouldn't they just be able to exist, to live their daily lives as themselves, and to go about their daily experiences together in public?
I often hear the argument that people can't accept LBGTQIA into society because it goes against their belief system, which is a poor excuse to discriminate. I believe nothing can go against your belief system unless it's something you are personally doing. Nothing I do, or anyone else does, can go against your beliefs. You may disagree and not understand, but only things you do can go against your beliefs.
I believe that people are different, and that is a beautiful thing.
I believe that inclusion is not an everyone, everywhere at any time concept because sometimes we are the garlic clove.
I believe that inclusion opens the door for anyone who wants to sit at the table.
I believe that self-acceptance is a struggle for almost everyone in our society.
We could all improve how we treat our fellow human beings.
My belief is that at a core vibrational level, we are one.
-Marquetta LaRae,M.Sc.
Metaphysician / Reiki Master / Best-selling author
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